


fighting with the shadows in your head

by stydiasforever



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post 5x05, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 18:06:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4401980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stydiasforever/pseuds/stydiasforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles stopped speaking, his breaths becoming rapid and short and his eyes beginning to water. In all the time that Lydia had known him, she had never seen him so vulnerable; so broken. She knew that he'd gone through terrible, awful things in his lifetime, and had most likely had one or two meltdowns, but she had never been there to see them or to comfort him. She was here now, though, and all she wanted was to make his pain go away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fighting with the shadows in your head

By the time the pack was safely tucked away in the Jeep (which,  _thank God,_  was currently functioning,) Lydia was exhausted. The fear and the adrenaline had worn off, and the ride home was silent aside from the faint hum of the Jeep's engine.

 

They dropped off Scott and Kira at the McCall house, neither of the pair wanting to leave the other even for a moment. Scott supported most of Kira's weight as they walked up the front steps, the kitsune clearly still debilitated from the events that had taken place at Eichen House. Lydia was relieved that she was okay, but she also was growing more and more concerned with the other girl's well-being after seeing her transform into something even she had never seen before.

 

It wasn't a long drive from Scott's house to Stiles'; maybe ten minutes at most. Lydia had no idea how she'd managed to fall asleep in that time, but she woke up only when the car stopped with a halt, making a noise that no car in decent health would ever make. It took her a second to realize her head was resting on Stiles' shoulder, but as soon as she did she sat up straight and busied herself with fixing her hair and adjusting her dress rather than making eye contact with him.

 

"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you," Stiles said apologetically.

 

Lydia just shrugged, tightening her grip on the strap of the bag over her shoulder. She was silent for a moment, before suddenly realizing something.

 

"Wait, why aren't we at my house?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

Stiles scratched the back of his neck, glancing from his house to Lydia and back again. "I, uh, I thought you might want to stay here tonight." He avoided eye contact with her, staring at his lap and playing with his keys. "You know, since your mom's still out of town."

 

Natalie had gone on a mini vacation to San Francisco to visit Lydia's aunt as soon as Lydia was out of the hospital. She had been reluctant to leave, but Lydia had persuaded her, eager for her mother to get out of town with everything going on, especially now that she knew about the supernatural.

 

"Uh, yeah, okay," Lydia said with a half smile.

 

Normally she would've insisted he take her home because  _it's the twenty-first century and_   _she can protect herself, god damn it,_  but  she was too tired to resist and frankly, she didn't want to.

 

When they entered the house, Stiles found a note on the kitchen table from his dad saying that he had to work late and that there was food in the fridge.

 

"Do you want anything?" Stiles offered, gesturing to the fridge. He opened the door, looking around for something suitable. "I can make you something, or we can go pick something up."

 

"Maybe just a tea?" Lydia asked, folding her arms over her chest and leaning into the doorframe.

 

Stiles nodded, filling the kettle with water and placing it on the stovetop.

 

"Why don't you go upstairs? You can shower if you want, and you're probably pretty uncomfortable in that so grab whatever clothes you want," he told her, "I'll bring this up when it's ready."

 

Her heart definitely skipped a beat when he smiled at her, his grin tired and somewhat halfhearted but still as infectious as always.

 

When she got up to his bedroom, she immediately took her hair out of its braid and let it fall down her back, her auburn waves even more prominent than usual. She unzipped her dress and let it fall to the floor, taking off her shoes as well, and walked over to Stiles' dresser to grab something to wear.

 

She considered sweatpants, but she instead settled on a large hoodie that would undoubtedly cover her entire body. Just as she finished pulling it over her head, the door opened and Stiles walked in holding two steaming mugs. He looked a bit flustered at the sight of her in his extremely big and extremely comfortable sweatshirt, but brushed it off rather quickly.

 

He handed her one of the mugs, their fingers just barely brushing as she took it from him. She took a small sip, closing her eyes as the warmth spread through her body. Of course, the beverage itself was perfect: green tea, one milk and two sugars with a dash of lemon juice. Just the way she liked it.

 

"Thanks," she murmured, setting the drink down on his table and sitting on his bed, allowing herself to finally relax. She loved moments like these with him, when they were alone and worry-free, even if just for the night.

 

Stiles walked over to his closet, stepping inside to get changed. The door was open only slightly, but enough to give Lydia a fairly good view as he stripped down to his boxers, pulling a pair of sweatpants on. She caught a few glimpses of his impressive abdominal muscles as he moved, the sight filling her with feelings of desire that she didn't know how to tame or control. Before he could find a t-shirt to wear, though, something caught Lydia's eye. There was a large wound taking up most of Stiles' shoulder, the blood dry and the skin around it covered in dark purple bruises.

 

"Stiles, what is that from?" Lydia exclaimed, getting to her feet and walking over to him.

 

He looked surprised by her question, until he glanced at his shoulder and realized the severity of his injury.

 

"I-it's nothing," he stammered, attempting to cover it up with the shirt in his hands. Lydia grabbed the shirt, throwing it on the bed.

 

"That is not nothing, Stiles," Lydia spat, her hands touching his arm and chest as she inspected the injury. "What is it from?"

 

Stiles bit his lip, completely frozen. He seemed to be at a loss for words, unsure of how to explain the situation to her.

 

"I-I killed someone," he whispered, staring at the ground. Lydia's eyes widened with shock, but she gave him a chance to explain before opening her mouth. "It was Donovan, the guy who escaped from jail, and he chased me into the school but then the scaffolding started to fall and the pole went right through him and he-"

 

Stiles stopped speaking, his breaths becoming rapid and short and his eyes beginning to water. In all the time that Lydia had known him, she had never seen him so vulnerable; so broken. She knew that he'd gone through terrible, awful things in his lifetime, and had most likely had one or two meltdowns, but she had never been there to see them or to comfort him. She was here now, though, and all she wanted was to make his pain go away. 

 

"Stiles, shh," she murmured, touching his cheek with one hand and running the other up and down his arm, attempting to sooth him. "It's not your fault. None of this is your fault."

 

"Yes it is, Lydia!" Stiles exclaimed, breaking free from her touch and beginning to pace the room. "I killed him. I almost let you get killed because I was too stupid to think of a tourniquet, and if Theo hadn't been there I would've had to be responsible for  _your_ death too."

 

She shook her head. "Stiles, that's not true."

 

He sat down on his bed, burying his face in his hands. She felt her heart sink in her chest when he looked up at her with tears in his eyes, his face red from crying.

 

Silently, she walked over to him and sat down next to him. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him to her so that his head was buried in her neck and he was leaning all of his weight on her. As soon as they settled into a comfortable position, Stiles let out a sob, his body shaking with anxiety and pain.

 

"It's okay," Lydia murmured, her lips barely an inch away from his ear as she spoke. "It's okay, shh...it's not your fault. It was self defense, you didn't do it on purpose."

 

Stiles slowly slid his arms around her waist, holding her tighter in a desperate attempt to get as close to her as possible. They remained in that position in silence for God knows how long, listening to each other's breathing until Stiles had relaxed.

 

Lydia broke the hug, slowly stepping away from Stiles, her hands resting on his bare shoulders. She was suddenly very aware of the fact that he was half-naked, her eyes admiring every inch of his impeccable body, making her stomach explode with butterflies.

 

She felt herself leaning into him, and he did the exact same until their faces were two inches apart, their noses practically touching. Their lips were barely touching when Lydia froze, her eyes fluttering open as she let go of him and took a step backwards.

 

"We can't, Stiles," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "You're with Malia, and with everything else going on right now, it's not...it's not right."

 

Stiles just gave her a faint, somewhat sad smile, though it was still full of hope and love and promise.

 

"It's right," he murmured, stepping towards her and cupping her face in his hands, "it's just not right now."

 

Lydia let out a sigh, letting him pull her into another embrace. This time she let him hold her, enjoying the feeling of protection and security that she got while in his arms.

 

"C'mon, let's go to the bathroom so I can patch up your shoulder," Lydia said when he finally let go of her.

 

After she'd bandaged his injured shoulder and gone downstairs to get him some ibuprofen because, well, he cringed every time she so much as  _touched_ the area around his wound, Lydia kissed his cheek goodnight, lingering a few seconds too long; not that he minded. She then walked down the hall to the guest room and climbed into bed there.

 

She wanted more than anything to be in bed with Stiles, holding him and listening to his heartbeat as she fell asleep, but she knew that it wasn't their time yet, and it wasn't fair to him or Malia or  _herself_ to cross that line yet. She was just going to have to wait patiently and see what the future brought for them.

  
And three months later, when she was lying in Stiles' bed with his arms wrapped around her and her head on his chest as they fell into a peaceful slumber, she knew that it was worth the wait.

**Author's Note:**

> THAT EPISODE WAS AMAZING ASHJSHLAHKL. i have so many stydia feels rn. OUR SHIP IS SETTING SAIL!!!!
> 
> anyways, comment what you thought and shoot me a message on tumblr (mcmartinskis) if you wanna talk about stydia or life or anything seriously i love talking to people


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